I see people walking on the street. Their eyes either fixed ahead in their desire to get somewhere or lost in an unfocused gaze as the thoughts and mental narratives within their mind claim much of their attention. For many it is clear that it is not merely their bodies they wish to bring to some other place, it is the entirety of their being. But how can I possibly judge them, when so often this state of seeking and semi-consciousness is one I find myself in as well.
We all seek, relentlessly. It is almost the hallmark of humanity that we are never content, constantly trying to find that which has somehow, somewhere been taken away from us. Like a gold nugget, a sacred talisman that we so cherished, that has been thrown and hidden somewhere completely unknown.
While some are preoccupied with finding it in money and material wealth, others prefer fame and attention, while others still wish to find that perfect relationship that will finally bring them the peace and love they so desperate crave. There are some that seek knowledge and wish to find a perfect understanding of the Cosmos, assuming that will bring that peace. Even when it comes to spirituality, this seeking can at times simply take another step forward – now the object of seeking becomes God, the Absolute, Enlightenment or Nirvana. Something that usually seems endlessly far away.
But in the end, we all fall short. We fulfill our goals and remain happy temporarily, yet still crave more. While money can bring us physical security and even in great quantities give us various worldly experiences, it is not hard to see for most that exuberant wealth is not what will fulfill us on the deepest level. The perfect relationship disappoints us, as we see that like us, the other person is not perfect and can never give us enough love to entirely fill the hole in our heart. No knowledge or transcendent spiritual experience gives us perfect contentment either.
As each desire is fulfilled, an opening appears, a cessation of thought. For a moment, perhaps a day, a week, or even a year, we allow ourselves to be free, at least to some degree. But because we have not arrived to the crux of the problem, the cravings reignite and the inner hole reappears.
But what is that opening that has appeared? Is it something that can only be experienced once a desire is fulfilled? Once we have painstakingly efforted to arrange the world as per our wishes? Or is that openness something that was there all along? Something present within us and all around us, yet remaining completely unnoticed for our entire lives because of our lack of awareness, because our attention was elsewhere? Is it a sense of freedom that is not created by us, but rather something already present in reality that we have simply discovered?
What I would like you to see is that we are all like an old man that has lost his glasses and forgotten where he has placed them. Not only do these glasses give him clear vision, they are a source of great wealth, for they are made of pure gold. He seeks them everywhere and is desperate to find them. Until one moment he finally gives up and assumes they are gone for good. As he puts his head in his lap out of sadness, he feel something slide from the top of his head. He reaches out and finds them, his glasses. They were perched on his head the entire time.
It is like this that we seek, yet never find. We seek so relentlessly that we do not even feel the glasses hidden on top of our head. We do not know what great wealth and freedom is hiding in plain sight, literally itching to be rediscovered.
The freedom that you seek is right here, right now. It is hidden behind the veil of your wants and seeming lacks, of your thoughts and emotions, behind the identities of yourself you have so faithfully constructed. Because we are habituated to constantly move towards the future or lament over the past, we can never spot the elusive obvious. A grand Cosmic joke has been played on us – what we seek is not only where we are, but who we are!
There is nothing wrong with having material wealth, being famous, having a wonderful relationship or seeking profound knowledge on a topic. There is nothing wrong with experiencing the myriad of things this reality has to offer. The problem arises because we give these experiences, whether they be material, emotional or mental, the power to rule our inner state, the power to rule over our identity, who we are, as well as the power of the Absolute, the power to give and take from us happiness, peace and love.
They seem to give us these things because we are in the game, playing the game of the world and are thus to a degree submersed in the world. But in reality they are not the true source of peace and happiness – it is merely that we condition our inner joy to shine through only when the world outside us is how we want it to be, when it meets certain conditions from our limited ego perspective.
If we allow ourselves to go deep, we can create a life where the winds and storms, as well as the sunlight and beauty of the world’s weather will only affect us to a degree – while we remain rooted in Being, in a deeper sense of ourselves and the world, which we are intertwined with.
It is the very nature of being, of existence, to be free, to feel a sense of peace, and a sense of connection and oneness, felt as love. On the ultimate level, none of those things are to be sought, for they can never be found in time or a specific experience. They are the very nature of reality.
It is my humble purpose and the purpose of this website to help show you that there is another way of living life, of experiencing reality. To varying degrees we are all still blinded by illusions and their enchanting nature, like fools in Plato’s cave looking at the reflections on the wall, while the true Sun remains glistening behind us.
I am no exception to this and cannot claim to be free of all illusions myself. But I have seen the freedom of the Infinite Sun that lies at the heart of reality. I have realized that reality is far from what the vast majority think it is. With this realization I have spent the last decade undoing the heavy mental and emotional conditioning, dissolving the pain and letting go of illusion.
I have gone through a very difficult period in my life, a form of awakening to this truth. But as I slowly let go of and dissolved the physical, mental and emotional hell that plagued me, I found that beyond them there was peace and freedom. I gained presence and compassion, a deeper understanding of myself and reality, as well as an understanding that no matter what happens in the world, that which I seek is right in front of me.
Here I would like to share with you my realizations on this journey, the pathless path that leads towards presence and true self, as well as my own insights on both the portals towards this freedom and roadblocks that keep you in limitation. Since our society and world at large is also an extended part of ourselves, it is also my desire to share my insights on the macro scale, the ways in which the world could change if this sweeping awakening took place (and it is already taking place) and how we can bring about this change as well. For with the realization of the freedom and peace inherent to reality, a great impetus of service arises and a wish to share what one has explored and learned.
Do not think you need years or a decade to awaken to reality. The freedom and joy that you seek is right where you are and even one glimpse can be enough for you to stay in it, as it, forever.
But it is often that once the truth is experienced, a glimpse of enlightenment, or Satori as they call it in Zen, the fog of the mind, its pain and limitation and one’s feeling of encasement in the world and thought returns – this I can also tell you from my own experience. But the degree to which the fog is present and your willingness to let it go all depends on you. The path is also collective, but it is mainly individual – as the Buddha said, you must be your own light in the darkness. To the degree that you choose to awaken this light is the degree to which reality will become more clear to you and the degree to which illusions will dissolve quicker.
It is the very name of this website that hints at how pain, illusion and limitations can be dissolved – for once we embrace our experience and everything in it, as we shine the light of our awareness on the darkness without resisting it, it dissolves, leaving the clear blue sky of freedom more and more obvious and closer to our experience.
Good luck and may this site be an ever-valuable resource 🙂